Dick Whittington

Not Rattled

Dick Whittington

by Alan McHugh, additional material by Paul Merton

Crossroads Pantomimes at Richmond Theatre until 7^th January

Review by Mark Aspen

London Lights!  Wham, Crossroads opens Dick Whittington with its wonted whammy and razzmatazz, full on there with monumental music, lighting and sound, full on with energy, physical and electrical.   With a press night on the day that COP 28 came to an end in Dubai, it felt like a use-it-or-lose it moment.  (What a gesture towards the participants dispersing home in their private jets!)

This is a panto that is not done by halves, and the opening is a measure of the energy and the fun to come throughout.  And a constant foil to the show is the ubiquitous, versatile and hyper-dynamic ensemble, acrobatically choreographed by Jonathan Mawson, who appear in many guises from noisome rats to nautical ratings.

Rats feature quite highly in this panto, as they do in the popular imagination of mediaeval London.  And the rattiest rat of them all is Queen Rat, a role deliciously relished by Vivien Parry, she of the bullwhip tail, evil cackle and an obsession with things smelly.  Queen Rat’s ambition is supremacy of the Rat race: no diversity in her murine realm.   Parry manages to be somehow surreptitiously sensual that makes one want to side with her, whilst simultaneously having the big boo factor that has the younger members of the audience hoarse with hooting.  Her singing is robust too, with more than a hint at Elvis.

But enough of the baddies, we should be siding with the goodies, or the trying to be goodies, the preeminent of which is of course the Dame.  Paul Merton blossoms in this role, and this is certainly a dame-led show.  His dry wit and laid-back approach work wonders as Sarah, the Cook.  Sarah incidentally never cooks anything.  Merton is a dame as a dame should be, a man pretending to be a woman, not a drag artistic who thinks he is a woman, because this is where the humour really works, not least in where the pretence pretends to go wrong.   Although there is no slipped bust, only an unscripted slipped slip, turned skilfully to advantage.    

Merton is very much a traditional dame.  Political topicality is eschewed, praise be.  (Sorry about the remarks on COP 28).   We can leave all that outside the theatre and have fun.  The double-entendres are there, this is panto after all, and our dame is straight into them from the first entrance; in an Austin Seven by-the-by.  The innuendoes are there, and they are a must in panto, but are pitched just above the head of the children (or possibly not nowadays) yet having the right penny-dropping half-beat before their dirty dads pick up the drift.  All this is in a panto where the very title is ripe for titillation … a Dick and a pussy, well come on now!   (The nearest the knuckle actually is from Queen Rat, “This Dick will not know if he is going or coming”: subtle-ish!)

Sarah the Cook’s sidekick is Suki, the Sweet Maker.  Suki incidentally never makes any sweets.  Maybe her full name is Suki-rose (geddit, geddit).  Merton’s real-life wife Suki Webster, of motorhome fame and in her debut panto role, is a highly charged Suki, the Sweet Maker.  Her quicksilver movements and quick-fire repartee counters Merton’s deadpan humour brilliantly. 

They has some great visual gags together and even more verbal ones, including tongue twister routines, although the one about the alliterative address of a man called “Who” eventually flags a little after bouncing along quite well.   Be careful, though where you sit when booking a seat at the panto.  The game dad in the front stalls is joshed something rotten when he becomes Sarah’s “love interest”.  The balm for Sarah’s fencing wounds, has limits for the “kiss my …” routine, made funnier by its predictability.

Main plots never are main plots in a panto, and our narrative should centre around the eponymous Dick Whittington, and his ambition to have a better life in London, where he finds the streets are paved with gold, if only metaphorically.  Jack Danson makes a very personable Dick Whittington, and accurately expresses the youthful hope of the man who will eventually become Lord Mayor of London.  Charlie Smart in the dumb role of Eileen, the Cat (the name is just an excuse for another musical number) makes the most of the creature’s feline fleetness of foot, and its animal voluptuousness.  Both Danson and Smart are products of Bird College, Crossroads’ own drama school.  Commendably, Erin Sophie Halliday, making her debut professional role as Alice Fitzwarren, Dick’s love interest, is still at drama school.   Utterly charming, and with a bell-clear singing voice, exhibited in her solo “You will always be a hero to me”, Halliday is totally convincing in the boy-meets-girl, love-at-first-sight scenario.  Nevertheless, she shows spirited assertive modern girl-power in her fencing duel with Queen Rat.

In the traditional ”fairy Godmother” role of The Spirit of Bow Bells, Wendy Mae Brown lacks the lustre promised by her glittering gown as the esoteric manifestation of the inspiration for Dick Whittington to “turn again” and seek his destiny.

The energy of the pantomime comes to a large extent from the music, which is mainly fresh-brewed rather than rehashes or tribute pieces.  Musical director Pierce Tee, conducting from the keyboards, take his well-paced six-piece orchestra on a joyful jaunt though Olde London and above and below the briny waves.

The ship at sea and its demise beneath the ocean are heartily represented in the set design as are the numerous London settings, ranging from Suki’s humble (but colourful) confectionery shop to the Lord Mayor’s glamour guildhall and mansion house.  Above all the costumes are magnificent.  Georgina Illingworth and her wardrobe team certainly have their work cut out with all the multifarious costume changes, particularly for the dance ensemble and of course for the dame.  Sarah, the Cook’s costumes grow more and more outrageous in the sartorial sequence that is the time-honoured dame’s prerogative.

Director Jonathan O’Boyle pulls out all the stops in his Dick Whittington and even includes the technical team in his visual gags.  Lighting designer, Simon Wilkinson and sound designer Ollie Durrant, not only have a huge impactful presence in the show, but bring in their own gag in a “show that goes wrong moment” when Suzi’s casually thrown prop explodes one of the spotlights and beings down the back-tab to reveal a “surprised” cast and crew offstage.

Lighting, sound, dancing, music and acting have an energy rivalling that in the oil wells under the COP 28 venues in Dubai, and certainly make a more entertaining show.

Mark Aspen, December 2023

Photography by Craig Sugden